A-MUSE-MEND
A-MUSE-MEND
The musings of a kid, they say. The spark of emotions, notwithstanding their perusive eyes. All they want is to tear me apart. ‘Judgement day’.
As I stand shriveled up in their mind’s corner, with eye’s and hairs upon me. Armpit hair, baldie’s hair(s) gaze upon me, to make me small. But pubic hair triumphs al land I emerge.
Yes, I emerge unfazed, undeterred, stepping up for the zillionth me.
Could be the democratic front, give it a Italian, Hindu, widowed, youth promotion, or just plain Bush’es with ‘saffron’, Flowers’. Instigating the nation with vibrant ideas, wake up sleepy old minds. ( a smooth operator!)
Or maybe inherit a godfather, bosoms and thrusts accompanied, ‘real’ to ‘reel’.
Or would I rather go on a joyride of ‘me’ and ‘you’ and make ‘two and two and two and well another two wouldn’t hurt’. Joining the joyride, putting on a hapless face, waiting for the exhausted seeds to grow into another zillionth ‘me’.
Or would you rather change it to a single ‘you’

Came across this line somewhere “We women always keep on reinventing ourselves, as time progresses” (not the exact lines). I realized how true it is
My own transgression from a rebellious youth to a mellowed lover has been gradual, but nevertheless a miracle according to close sources. From a questioning cynical girl to a tolerant youth trying to find the right solutions. So many happenings have occurred that the total experience can be likened to a rollercoaster ride.
Have questioned “the” ideals, found myself reacting contradictory to what I had envisaged myself reacting as.
My love, where is it taking me? To fulfill which role? I was oblivious to those questions, when a sweet montage was imprinted on my mind. Now that the full image is seen…the same emotions are juxtaposed to the present.
And this just brings me to the crux of all questions. Why the pain, suffering to grow to what level? To feel and understand what? To which paradigm of attainment? This power struggle, conflicting emotions, societal bondages, ambitions, heart break, let down expectations, to lead us to where?
I cant help but be amused. Amused at what I now am gonna do, for something that’s gonna leave me feeling as unsure and complexed as before. Maybe that’s why the world goes round!